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I H!@# This

Usually a glass of wine would help here, maybe it still will (I wish it were warm today so I could just sit on the porch … 40 degrees on 5/20 … blah)

Like many if not all of my posts I just write to write, not expecting or wanting feedback

… Just writing most times to record whatever I can for the kids but sometimes I just need to get something off my chest

It’s just my outlet

And right now I just need to vent…

When you’ve asked and you’ve asked and you’ve asked and you’ve asked some more

And when you ask they get defensive

Or when you ask they just ignore

When it’s friends?  Well they’re probably not your friend anyways, so screw them

When it’s family … What do you do?????

When someone approaches you, like someone did recently, and they say something to you that they probably shouldn’t know about

And when that person tells you who told them

And that person is Quote Unquote family

And you know for absolutely certainty that this is the only person they would have heard this from

What do you say to this person?

What do you say to a person who won’t listen in the first place?

A person who gets defensive

A person who obviously talks about you when they shouldn’t

A person who can’t even respect simple requests in the first place

But then you come to find out speaks to other people about you when they absolutely have no right to

How do you deal with this?

If I say something to them they won’t listen

If I don’t say something they’ll just keep doing it … well they’ll probably (almost definitely) keep doing it regardless

It’s not a friend in this case, not someone that I can just let go of, kick to the curb, tell them to screw off … although I feel like I SO want to right now

I just hate this.  And hate is such a horrible word …

The word Hate in our house is at the top of the list of words we do not say

But in this case I hate this

I hate that I am not respected

I hate that this person would for whatever reason think it’s okay to speak to someone about this

Ugh … sigh :( I hate using the work hate!

Missed for 6 …

Today more than most I receive some sort of message from friends & family

Usually they’re simple messages, saying things like “thinking of you today …”

Or like one friend put it best, “… She’d be pissed that it is 50 degrees … ” :)

Then there is this:

I knew before opening the text that this one is probably going to create some tears

Sure enough …

Side note: I’m sitting here at Corner Bakery (one of my many offices) and the couple behind me literally right now is talking about texting / driving and all the bad things that can happen …

Anyways …

So there are texts like that.

And as much as I loathe facebook, posts like this …

and …

She’s definitely missed

The kids don’t know what today is. I’ll tell them later. I didn’t want them to go to school sad.

We’ll definitely be talking about it later …

:-/

Another Proud Parenting Moment

While I intend to get on here and write often, that seems to never happen :(

Nevertheless, every once in a while something happens and I’m motivated to write a little.

A bunch happened just tonight (and yesterday) so here we are …

https://www.youtube.com/embed/KVKHmZmJkMw

He hasn’t been very motivated to learn how to ride.  I’ll ask from time to time but usually it isn’t a top priority.

It was finally nice out yesterday.  One of very few nice days this year.  They just want to stay out an play as long as they can.

He came up to me sometime between 6 & 7 asking to do something else.  I suggested we practice riding and he agreed.

So he went to get a bike, then to find his helmet & knee & elbow pads, and he was ready to go.

He grabbed his sisters little pink bike.  The same one she learned on.  And he started on his own.

We went back and forth, up and down the block about a half dozen times.

We tried this before on a bigger bike without any success.

So here we are on this little pink bike.  In a white t-shirt.  With his new spikey helmet on.

Regardless, he’s doing it and he’s doing well.

He fell a few times, scratched his upper leg once, but just kept going.

Parenting is tough.  For sure!  No doubt…

But every once and a while you get one of these moments.  I wish they happened every day, or at least more often ;)

……………………………

Today she lost tooth #5 … on the 5th month and 5th day of 2015.

This one was hanging on for a while.

It even seemed to turn on an angle and we thought it was chipped because of how it was positioned.

But today she was eating and may have bitten on something from that tooth and she knew it was coming out.

Sure enough just a couple hours later she was eating again and it just fell out.

She came running to me.

It was a tough couple of hours though. She was kind of freaked that it would come out.

We went to a friends and they offered to pull it but she was having none of that.

We went to his baseball game and she insisted we bring with a baggie and some napkins because it was bleeding.

We got home and a couple dozen minutes later it was out.  YAY!

…………………………………………………………………

And then …

I’m at baseball, talking to a dad I may have never talked to before.

I’m usually out there couching but honestly we have enough coaches and I could use the break.

Plus I’m not totally in agreement with the coaching style of our manager so it’s better I just sit on the sideline for now.

We won’t be on his team again…that’s for sure

That said … I’m talking for a while with this guy and he asked about my wife.

Ugh…

Figured he knew but he didn’t so I told him.  Of course he’s probably like holy @#%

He was trying to ask me if my wife ever blows up, goes crazy, and I’m like well …

So i tell him and then I’m like, nah, she’s pretty laid back

I don’t think he took it as a joke …

He decided not to ask any more questions .. go figure

It wasn’t a big deal but he probably felt bad asking the question

——————————————————–

Oh yeah, there’s other stuff too!

- Her 1st communion. Yay!  It was a good day.   It was a great day for her.  Although she was ready to leave church as soon as we got there … All the family came over afterwards.  The only negative … I’m just going to complain for a minute …One of her aunts, who I guess I’m feuding with (I don’t have the energy for her b.s. … she’s the one who made my daughter cry when they went shopping for communion dresses … who does something like that??? … hopefully that explains why I might feud with someone), she actually came.  She skipped both their b-day parties.  She won’t talk to me.  She left without saying goodbye to my daughter too. She sucks.

… I didn’t mean for that to sound negative, given the positive spirit of her communion but I needed to vent!

………………………………………………………………

He’s in Soccer and Coach Pitch baseball.  He’s scored 1 goal both games.  And he pumps up his arms every time he scores.  It’s pretty cool.  And he’s good at baseball too … i’m loving it.

She’s in Soccer this spring.  The first time since little kickers.  And she’s liking it … so excited.

What else???  I’m beat.  Time for bed ;) … maybe … busy summer so I’m sure there will be more

Another Year, Another Birthday …

She loved ‘em.  Especially in our 20′s.  The last one together she just turned 30 (pregnant with C)

Today she turned 36.

I love our friends and our friends loved her.

Today we started out with Breakfast with Santa

Then some friends came over… Jim, Keely, Susie, Gary and all the kids

And others sent messages …

Megan … “Happy Birthday to Cari. Miss her so much. I am thinking of u all today and big hugs”

Amanda … “Thinking of you and my friend Cari today. Missing her very much. Give those kiddos a big hug for us. Hope all is well!”

Jen … “We are thinking of you today, like most days, but particularly today. I love how much Cari loved her birthday … Always up for celebrations to punctuate life :)

Mark … Mom … GC … Maggie … Yolanda … Christine …

It’s much harder to read those things a second time and then type them out.

I always tell E it’s okay to have a good cry

Maybe I needed one too …

Missing you always. Happy Birthday ;)

One of the many things to worry about

The list seems endless

As a parent you know your children

You know what they like to eat

You know the places they are most ticklish

You know all their ins & outs

Perhaps that changes as they grow older, but that’s how things are now ;)

He’s been coughing for about a week now.

Coughs, ugh, they seem to last for weeks …

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had to argue against giving them cough medicine.  Countless times …

Do you want to know how many times I’ve given them cough medicine?  0 … that’s ZERO.

He’s 5, she’s 7 … they’ve coughed a bunch and I’ve never given them cough medicine.

And guess what, they’re fine

I’m saying this not because I’m firmly against any type of cough medicine

I’m saying this because I know what works when they have coughs and it simply does not involve cough medicine

And what I do with them works.  Tonight’s a perfect example … no cough medicine and he’s sleeping fine.  I think their coughs are harder on the ones that have to listen to the coughs, not the ones that are actually doing the cough … maybe???

Anyways, so back to the point of this post …

I really truly believe that I know these kids

And what troubles me is will someone else, should something ever happen to me, also “know” these kids

Will they do what I did tonight?

Or will they choose to do what they “think” is right for the kids?

Will they give them cough medicine?

Or will they

- Put them in a warm steamy shower
- Get them into bed early
- Cover their chest and feet with vicks
- Turn on a humidifier and keep the door nearly closed
- Sleep with them all night

Well maybe they’ll do some of those, I surely hope so…

But who is that person, who’s that person who will do all these things, who’s that person who will come to know all the in’s and out’s of these two amazing children

I know maybe I shouldn’t worry about this stuff but I do

Who know’s all the foods that my picky little eater will eat?

Who will introduce as many new foods to her as possible and continue to introduce new foods even though she might turn down 99% of them?

Who will not get upset when that happens and will keep doing it because he / she loves her so much?

And who will get excited when that 1 time she actually eats it and loves it (like mini-beef taco’s from trader joe’s … a recent win!)

I don’t know …

I just look at tonight and worry

He’s not feeling well, but I’m here and I’m caring for him and couldn’t imagine doing anything else

Who would ever do all this the same exact way I’m doing things, or do things even better than me?

I guess I don’t know who that person is and that’s why I worry

I know though that if anything ever were to happen that they’d be in the hands of people who love them, that’s a guarantee

I don’t, however, know that they will be raised the same way.  I pretty much doubt it.  I imagine any parent might feel that way.

… that no one could ever raise their children like they do …

And then onto a related topic …

Today was Ellis Island day at her school.  I signed up to be an inspector.  I’m pretty sure every parent was at the event, but only a handful volunteered.

She was really excited to have me there.  It was a lot of fun!

I’m fortunate to have the opportunity to do things like this

I wonder if things would be different.  Would Cari do things like this?  Would I still be involved?

Hmm … I guess we’ll never know … will we?? :( ((

I know I’m not perfect.  I would never say I am.  I do things that I regret but I always try to better myself.

When something doesn’t work … oops, let’s not do that again

I don’t like yelling and try not to but it happens because they often times don’t want to listen

But then I say to myself well that didn’t work … ugh

But it’s not always easy to find those things that do work

Kids are tough!  Life is tough!

I don’t think I’ll ever be confident that there’s another person out there that would raise the kids the way I would raise them

But fortunately I have a couple amazing children and I know that they will always be okay ;) and that’s comforting …