Slow Down * Enjoy Life Rotating Header Image

March, 2011:

weird silence

today i was woken up before it was even light out.  daddy, i have to poop. 

she stayed up from that point on til about 8:15 when she finally convinced me to roll out of bed, shower, and get c-babe

for a moment just now there wasn’t a sound.  it had to be a good 30 seconds. wierd. what’s wrong? what’s going on in there?

i peaked around the corner and they were both sitting eating their breakfast in relative peace.  i thought for a second to take a picture but that surely would have gotten them exicted

…either way though, it’s not quiet anymore

two days ago

he climbed into his crib.  crap!  i took him out and he climbed in again.  shit!

that night he stayed at grandma’s. tonight we’re back.

five minutes ago he climbed into his crib by himself for bed.  that cannot be good

i’m affraid of what that means

recently his bedtime ritual requires a rubber soccer ball, two toy footballs & a rubber basketball.  he’s not able to go to sleep without them.  tonight i couldn’t find the other football but all is quiet so far.  i think the whole climbing into bed thing overshadowed his other nightly needs.  somehow i need to capture how he asks for those toys.  it’s so cute

i think she has her first best friend. it’s a girl from preschool.

i think it has a lot to do with the fact that they see each other often, that doesn’t hurt. 

they look a little a like too although the other girls is nearly 6 inches taller.  it’s all really cute and nice to see

she has a pretend friend too.  for some reason i can’t remember her name right now.  today she planned a baby shower for this friend and wrote out invites.  i’m sure it had something to do with titi writting out invites for her own baby shower

yesterday was an orthopedic dr appt for him.  our ped had concerns about a difference between his two legs.  the ortho said she sees something but was not super concerned … phew!  i kind of felt like that would be the outcome but it was still a relief to hear it from her.  we go back in another six months for a checkup. 

her coach in gymnastics said she’s been doing a lot better these past couple weeks, like she’s breaking out of her shell a little.  that’s good to hear but that also means that my little princess is growning up.  i know it’s inevitable but sometimes i wish i could just have her this way forever.

think that’s about it for now.  i’m so busy.  i cannot wait til this side job is over.

slaughter football game

I simply CANNOT get enough of this picture.  You kind of had to be there.  If there was only some way to add audio to the picture.  He was a riot.  We were at Uncle Bobby’s Slaughter football game and the kid was really into it.  Yelling, screaming, cheering, clapping … it was great!  Of course I needed half a dozen other people there to help keep him occupied during those 3 hours since he couldn’t sit still.

I can only imagine how Cari would be with all this.  She’s missing out on so much.  And as always they’re missing out too.  I’m sure we still would have been at the game; no doubt with both kids instead of just the one

beyond busy

one day maybe i’ll be able to say i had a day or week that wasn’t busy.  i don’t see that happening for a while

i’m going to PT for my back and one of the therapists asked how my day was going, I said busy … if he only knew.  one day I’ll be able to say I’m not busy, right?

a couple people have asked or commented or suggested that i seem to be ignoring them.  the way i see it, if i had time to respond i would.  i just don’t

today I went to meet the kids at my SIL’s volleyball game.  the school is kind of on the far southwest side of the city.  6 blocks from where the women lives that killed cari.  i’ve never been over there.  when i looked up the location of the school my heart sank.  shit!  i really don’t want to drive over there.  i know the address.  i wish i didn’t.  i didn’t say anything to the family about her living in the area.  i figured it would only bring up anger.  on top of that … the game was at a catholic middle school gym.  the gym looked new and has a bunch of tiles on the floor and wall with names of parishioners.  guess whose name is on one of the tiles.  i could have vomited.  it was so hard to not say anything to the family.  it’s one thing to mention cari but an entirely other thing to mention the person who took her from us, especially among family.  so there it was … thrown right in my face.  it f’ing sucked

over the weekend i had to move a washer / dryer to my 2-flat.  as we’re doing it i move the washer and find a dime.  and then i come down the stairs (after going down those stairs about a dozen times that morning) and there are two more dimes.  where else … i know there was somewhere else.  i hate her not being her.  i sat at the table this afternoon to do some work and there she is in our pictures on the wall.  it’s like that part of our life just froze in an instant.  i miss so much of it.  there’s simply no way to replace what we lost, especially what the kids have lost