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October, 2016:

Re-Telling our story

They have a lot of innocence

But as they get older, as we get older, that innocence fades away

I’m asked to fill out forms nearly every time we sign up for something

One section asks for the father’s information, another section the mother’s

I hers I write DECEASED … in big bold letters

When I recently went to a new Dr I had to explain things all over to this person

I had to tell my story

Not every details is easy

Sometimes the person listening to the story is even more emotional than me

That seems to happen more often than not

These forms that I fill out, I figure the instructor or teacher or whoever actually reads them

I’m always hoping they do so that they at least are aware

So that E or C doesn’t have to retell their story, like in the middle of the class or on the playground

But often that’s not the case

Those forms aren’t read

And then they’re put in a situation where they have to tell their story

For her it’s not easy

She doesn’t want to tell the story

Or at least it’s not easy for her

I thought most people already knew, that most kids already knew

But evidently they don’t

And she’s apparently faced with the question way more often than I ever thought

So we talked about this

I want her to feel okay talking about it or at least have the ability to respond to these kids or adults with an acceptable response

I don’t want her to sound defensive or feel like she’s put on the defensive

So we talked about what she can say

Simply put … “I don’t want to talk about this or I don’t feel like talking about that”

She wanted to say … “It’s none of your business” … which if that’s what she wants to say, okay with me

I think she understood though and seemed to feel better

He was also faced with this question recently, from an adult, an instructor, nonetheless …

PLEASE READ THESE FORMS THAT I FILL OUT … JESUS (and this is religious school too, pun intended)

What’s the point of us filling them out if they’re not reading them ????????

But he had a response

And he told his story

And he told me that he told his story

And he told me that his story made his teacher cry

And he told this story in front of his class (ugh)

Sigh …

But this conversation brought out in my daughter how she felt about telling her story

About how telling her story was not something she liked to do

7 years, 4 months and about 13 days later and this is where we are

This is death and grief

This is a part of our daily lives