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the past couple …

i think it started today; now he says daa-dee instead of dada.  and he’s got a whole list of words and tries to say just about anything.  okay is new and he was really trying to say thank you.  he’s getting there but he’s well behind where ellie was at this age

i really feel like my kids are well behaved, especially in comparison to others their age.  not that i’m calling out anyone else.  i just look at mine and then others and there’s just something different about their behavior.  they’re not perfect and it’s not always easy but tonight was a good example.  when it was time for others to leave their were tantrums all over the place.  when it was time for us to leave there was hardly a complaint … just the, i want to go to grandma’s house once we got in the car … a whole other issue

it often seems like there’s that big gray elephant in the room, especially now during the holidays.  and last night and tonight in particular.  both nights were with our friends.  it’s me & the kids and then all the other couples and theirs (if they have ’em).   there’s just something so big missing from our lives and there’s no way to get it back.  i’m not sure what if anything could be said.  i loaded up on presents for all the other kids.  something we would have done anyways.  it was nice to see the looks on their faces.

e is still struggling with her desire to live here or at grandma’s. hopefully this is just a phase but i’m sure that if this is a phase that it is 100% related to cari not being here. 

i’ve got a few posts half-written so i’m going to try and finish them up and post them soon. but first i need to finish up my xmas shopping.

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