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Grief

It just sneaks up on you when you’re not expecting it

Lately I’ve had to tell my story to a few people, my “whole” story

And that always opens up some wounds

They heal up pretty easily, however

My grief is my own grief

I’m convinced it’s different for everyone

I don’t mind talking about her, ever

I mind, however, people thinking they can’t talk about her to me

You can

I also mind people thinking their way of grieving is the same as mine

It’s not

It doesn’t necessarily upset me, I just don’t want to hear your opinion of your grief

I grieve my way, and that’s what works for me

Today, however grief struck me from one of my kids

I’m not exactly certain how the topic came up

It was early morning, while we were getting ready for our first soccer game of the day

I mentioned meeting someone (theoretically) and getting married one day

He said in these exact words, “I don’t want a new mom that I have to kiss”

And his eyes began to water, his face was sad, it was real emotion

Wow!

So we talked a bit about it

He also said, “I want our family to stay how it is”

And that he of course wished that Cari was here

This didn’t open any of my wounds

But it showed to me that their grief is real, it’s raw, and it’s definitely alive and present in them

Life 🙁 Sigh….

I love them so much

Otherwise …

He learned to tie his shoes, and how to tie a square knot

She decided to play the cello in the orchestra

And picture day was this week.  So CUTE!

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