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EIGHT

EIGHT MONTHS! (In my exhausted state I originally counted 9 months …. as if it matters though.  It still sucks!)

I really @#$% hate that we are in this situation. 

I spent the weekend away with some old fraternity brothers.  Has it really been 10 years.  The topic came up a few times.  I deflected it a bit.  I was thinking I might get some much needed rest but I’m more tired now than before I left.  I probably needed those days away but I might have been better off on the beach rather than northern wisc.  We did some ice fishing, snowboarding, played a bunch of poker games.  It was def a boys weekend.

But I’m back to my reality now.  Just in time for another month to pass.  Note to self: if I have another weekend like that, be prepared to experience some unwanted emotions because I’m more likely to let down my guard.

I’m definitely having a tough time today.  The single attempt at talking about today was enough to bring on the tears. 

I spoke to my brother today about giving him E’s furniture for their new baby (if they wanted it).  Kind of a hand-me-down sort of thing I suppose.  Furniture that should have and would have been used for baby #3.  If this happens I’ll get E a new set of big girl furniture.  If it doesn’t I’ll move that down to C (because the quality of his furniture is somewhat questionable), and then still upgrade her.  I didn’t expect the offer to be tough to talk about.  But it was.  He didn’t know that. 

She, btw, is doing so good with potty training this past week.  We had her going good for a while then our world got turned upside down.  It’s been a battle, like many other things, to make good progress with it.  But she’s almost 3 and I would like to get things going.  It’s one of those things.  Just another one of those things …

Why did this happen to us?  I really just don’t get it.

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