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I need you today

I need you every day but today I def need you here

I’m not sure how all of this is going to pan out, but here’s the deal.

You and I always talked about the day that something like this might happen and I really wish you were here for me (us) right now.

About 2 weeks ago someone at the organization got fired.   It was a big WOW!  Figured he would go at some point but on his own terms.  Then today came a voice mail (and an e-mail too) that my superior is also gone (I’m not sure if it was on his terms or if he was kicked to the curb as well).

Am I next???  Can I be??? (semi-serious there)

What to do … FUCK! … sorry!  SHIT DAMN FUCK is more like it … 🙂

Can I really be in position to take over IT for a major company?  Wow!  Absolutely HORRIBLE timing.  WTF!

Of course I can do it.  But am I mentally capable of handling it today?  What’s it worth to me?  I know what WE would do.  You would support me 100%.  We may or may not have moved but you would have been there for me completely.  Now it’s not so much about me.  It’s about our little ones.  I don’t really need the money (although if I make any sort of move they better give it to me).  I also definitely don’t need the stress.  I certainly don’t want to take over the role that he created. 

So what???

Well, I have some thinking to do …

But who am I kidding I’ve already thought about it plenty.  3 days in the office.   2 days at home.  50% pay raise.  Re-evaluate role of IT in the organization.  Hire N number of necessary employees to fill needed roles.  If more than 3 days in the office, sell my house, cover any losses, pay for down payment on new house.  I’ve got plenty more demands.

But about me … can I handle it???  I don’t know.  I’m kind of a mess … kind of really a mess.  Seriously … a bit of a mess 🙂

I love you baby.  I just don’t understand why we are here today.  You would be so excited at the prospect of this opportunity for us.  I want so bad to share it with you.  I miss u more than anything.

…oh, and i’ve dreamt about you a bit lately.  thank you!

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