I wish I had the whole summer off of work. I do need work, of some sort anyways, to keep me sane but I could do without the 40 hour work week. That was my plan before all this and still somewhat of a short term goal. We’ll see. With the economy and the only source of income for us, it’s probably a poor idea to think about going out and doing something on my own.
Anyways, this past weekend was busy. I went to wisconsin with some friends for the first couple days. My MIL watched the kids. I got there late Friday and came back Sunday morning so Saturday was pretty much the only day we did something. And that was enough. I missed the kids. It was crazy hot out and my ass got burnt. We spent the better part of the day on my friends boat. We parked it in the middle of the lake on a sand bar with maybe 40-50 other boats. It was pretty cool. Lots of people and plenty of drinks. We stayed there til about 6, got dinner, went to a bar, and we were pretty much all exhausted by midnight.
Sunday I spent with the kids (and monday too). We went to Cari’s cousin’s house, had dinner, swam in her pool, and watched some neighborhood fireworks. The kids actually seemed to do well with the fireworks this time. Up until this year E wanted nothing to do with them.
While we were swimming, lil dude (who seems fearless) decided that it would be fun to run right off the deck into the pool whether someone was there to catch him or not. OMG! Fortunately I was there in the water. How am I going to stop that behavior??? Even when I got out of the pool he decided to do it again and again. But the 2nd time I yanked him back into the air, kind of freaking him out, so he finally stopped. I suppose all we can do is keep an eye on him and teach him how to swim as soon as possible. Otherwise I’m screwed.
There were plenty of times over the weekend when I thought about Cari. How she should be there, how we would be doing all that stuff together, how we would probably have been so set on buying a boat and or property there or somewhere else, etc, etc. Then at some point, and I can’t recall the exact memory right now, I was thinking of something that happened not too long ago. I struggled to figure out if this particular event was something that happened with or without Cari. That hurt…a lot! Prior to that single thought I never really had trouble differentiating between things like that. As it turned out I am fairly convinced that it was something that happened without her. And then that hurt even more.
I skipped my last therapy session. I was kind of tired of going plus it was scheduled the day after my surgery. But I probably do need to get some stuff out. However, getting the stuff out is no fun but it will probably be less fun keeping it inside and letting it build up. I should probably find some outlet without needing to schedule time with a professional …
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So I’ve got this ongoing issue at work. Not really an issue, but more of a dilemma. They hired this new guy to replace my boss. He’s fine. He seems technically proficient. However, he’s not a seasoned manager yet they assigned him to that position (senior director to be exact). That was supposed to be my position but because of my personal situation (which is completely unfair and I’m slightly bitter) I was unqualified for the position. I still don’t know who made that decision to hire him. It just baffles me. We could have hired a 30 year veteran in a second. Anyways, the past few times I’ve been into the office he hasn’t said a word to me. It really makes me laugh. A few weeks back he asked if there was anything he could work on (asked of me, his “subordinate”). So I said he could work on something that wasn’t technically complex but impacted a lot of things. I asked him a couple times how things were going. He said fine. I expected questions, and lots of them. Especially from someone who knows nothing about our systems … questions are pretty important. I haven’t received any. So I guess we’ll just see what happens. It’s really weird. Too bad they just didn’t hire my recommendation. Politics I guess …