I remember seeing the soprano’s cook book at bed bath and beyond forever ago and thinking the tv show branded book was a bit overboard. Then Cari bought it for me, for christmas I think. We made a couple meals from the book; they were two of our fav’s. Possibly our top 2 favorites. Rigatoni w/Broccoli & Penne alla Vodka. There were both so good. The first time she made the Penne she thought she totally messed it up. It wasn’t bad. She was still sensitive about her cooking since that first time she tried to cook gnocchi (it really wasn’t that good – we tried to joke about it but she didn’t take it well even though she knew it was bad too). Anyways, tonight I cooked the Rigatoni while trying to attend to my little man who is totally non-stop. It just wasn’t the same. It made me sad. It makes me sad just thinking about it now. It’s just a dish but I miss her so much it hurts.
E didn’t nap today. She went to a butterfly class at the zoo with GC. The pictures are cute and it looks like she had a ton of fun. But no nap means a crabby kid and she’s been crabby for a few days so as soon as I got to Grandma’s I didn’t hesitate to pack them up and head home. She was passed out about 10 minutes into the ride. It’s been 4 hours and she’s still sleeping. Either she’s going to go the whole night or she’s going to wake up and it’s going to be a long night for me. She’s done this a couple other times, where she falls asleep in the car and makes it til the morning. I’m not keeping my fingers crossed but let’s hope she stays asleep … of course now that I said it I’m screwed! Anyways…. When I got home with them I put her on the couch and me and lil guy played outside until I needed to get in and feed him. I was cooking and everything was quiet, which is a bad sign when quiet involves him. Quiet usually means something is up. And it was. I came into the family room and he crawled on top of her and was getting ready to bite her leg (well maybe not bite but it looked like it). If I didn’t mind her waking up I would have let them be to go grab the camera but instead I yanked him off and tried to redirect his attention. He was fine for a bit but then I found him up on top of her a couple more times. So eventually I grabbed her and brought her up to her bed. They are such opposites. Quiet for her usually meant she was perfectly content. Not him though.
In addition to the whole dinner thing, someone sent me a video taken when my daughter was maybe 6 months. Most of the video is of her and I but then it panned over to Cari …
I’ve been laying out in the sun more this summer than I have in a while. I’d have to say my tan is looking pretty damn good. No more farmers tan. Cari would be pissed that I’m doing it now and wasn’t as interested in being out there the last few years. I do like the sun, always have, but I like it in small doses. She liked it for hours at a time.
I procrastinated and now it’s very unlikely I’m going to san diego for this widow’s conference that’s happening in a few weeks. It’s on a busy weekend for work so it was unlikely anyways. I should go, or I should have planned to go because I’m sure I would have found it beneficial. It’s all women though, or at least seems like it is (the majority anyways). Is that a bad thing???? I’m sure I would be fine. But going there means that I’m going there for a reason, THE reason. I do a lot, whatever I can, to avoid the topic. I would have gone for the kids though because they seem to have a number of discussions about the impact on them. But plane tickets are $600 … yikes!
Oh yeah, this new book I’m reading (or just started reading). Cross, by James Patterson. A few dozen pages in and the character Alex and his wife Maria are madly in love. Their relationship seemed to resemble what Cari and I had. Then Alex goes to pick up Maria from work and Maria is shot and dies. I just skipped the rest of that chapter. Damn!!!