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Recently …

I’ve been having some conversations that have forced me to revisit a lot of things that I, for numerous reasons, avoid thinking about.

One of the most difficult, as I found out yesterday, were those voice mails left on Cari’s phone by a couple people the day everything happened.  I could barely speak about them.  So sad 🙁

These coversations have mainly been about our lives ever since.  But then I think, how could I possibly paint a picture of the past 17 months in a few hours?  I can’t.

I write on this blog, but the blog only captures a fraction of our lives.  The posts are sporatic.  The stories normally out of context.  But I’ve put a lot of time into this thing.  So I suppose it does tell part of a story … or a whole lot of mini-stories.

17 months …

So much has changed … in the blink of an eye.  Today is 3 years since Papa passed away.  3 years … ugh!

The decision to leave my job was a complicated one.  However, a small part of it did have to do with how fast things were happening and how important it is for me to be involved in it.   Not sure how the $ situation is going to work out but at least I’m able to be around for the kids now.

Beyond all that, though, there’s one thing that really hasn’t been discussed.  All that talk makes me think about this thing.  And it’s really something that does deserve focus.  It’s not just about us figuring things out, getting through the day, LIVING… it’s about that unreplaceable thing that was stolen from the lives of our children. It’s the experiences, the love, the relationships the days, hours, minutes, seconds that can never be given back, can never be replaced. 

We were at the zoo tonight and at one point a women at a craft station was talking to the kids and said “maybe your mommy can help you out with this.”  A month or so ago a lady at the Disney Store said something similar to the kids.  Why would someone ever expect children so young to be in such an unfortunate situation?  Why can’t we just avoid the topic?  It blindsides us.  It comes out of nowhere.  What are we going to do?  Maybe we can wear a sign.

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